Sex, Drugs and ‘Garage’ Rock n’ Roll

Lately I’ve been feeling like I really want to be in a ‘garage rock’ band. Seems like all these guys are my age or younger, and are ‘living the dream’ while I’m studying for the GRE. In general, garage rock bros don’t seem like they have much to stress them out. They never seem to have to worry about things like money, hygiene, critics, or laundry (via their moms still doing it for them). I bet most of these guys still live at home in the burbs but still manage to score quirky hipster chicks with regularity.

Garage Rock just seems like a fun genre that I want to be a part of while I’m still young enough to appreciate it. All their songs seem to be about parties, drinking, babes and drugs. This aesthetic really appeals to me right now. Feelin’ like this is the music that should be appealing to high school kids, but for some reason hasn’t reached them.

Pretty sure this is actual footage from Black Lips family Christmas.

Apparently they are all tryin’ to sound like some obscurish’ 1960’s psychedelic bands. Kind of have a hard time believin that these kids are musical historians. I think that this might just be what music naturally sounds like when you are 18 and pick up a guitar while stoned and record a bunch of 2min long lo-fi tracks. I really need to find a way into this movement. I should probably start by growing some ironic facial hair like a bushy mustache or something.

In case you didn’t realize this song had a retro vibe. The Smith Westerns were kind enough to provide plenty of retro b-roll.

Facial hair might not be enough though. People could easily think I was just some folk rocker or something like the Avett Bros or Bon Iver. I feel like the true key to being in a garage rock band is some sort of novelty head wear. A goofy hat lets people know that the music is really secondary. You are just hear to have fun and drink beers.

The Strange Boys

black lips

^^^ A popular choice seems to be the boat captain/police officer style. Its pretty goofy while simultaneously mocking authority figures. Those stoopid squares will never understand.

The Smith Westerns

A fake cartoon stuffed animal head reassures people that you don’t take yourself or your music too seriously. Some garage rockers might be too young to wear it ironically though. Might be a legit halloween costume.

black lips
Have you ever seen anyone uptight wear a baseball cap like that?

King Kahn and BBQ Show

King Kahn
King Kahn and the Shrines

King Kahn seems to really have taken this headgear aesthetic to an art form. From spikey German cerca WWI hat to the motorcycle helmet, to the Shiney feminine Egyption hat that reassures concert goers that you are too busy rocking to worry about predetermined gender roles.

Are hats more important to my success as a garage rocker than facial hair?
How would you define garage rock?
Which type of hat best prepares me for success in the garage rock niche?


1 Comment

Filed under Music, Rant

One response to “Sex, Drugs and ‘Garage’ Rock n’ Roll

  1. Jo

    The police/captain hat would def help create an ironic vibe: I’m to busy rocking out to care about authority.

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